Anyway- the lawyer told me it would take about a week and it took more like a week and a half, but I have it now and need to find it a safe home so it does not get lost. Oh….. and my lawyer was kind enough to send me another bill along with these documents. Not a large bill so I suppose I have no right to complain, but still- every time you put postage on a letter I get a bill. I think I will make payment in about 6 months as repayment for the non-services rendered on her end. But aside from the bill and the documents, I was just happy that it is over and a new chapter of my life is beginning.
I know it may not have seemed as if I were excited about my engagement. To be honest, it came much sooner than I was expecting or may have been ready for, but it is a good thing. I just need to finish school which is kicking my ass, get through finals, fundraisers, a move and then hopefully by May or June things will settle down and I can begin really focusing on the next chapter of my life.
In the meantime, I was hoping the old chapter was official done with, but it seems the ex has decided he feels the need to repeatedly e-mail me. Here are two e-mails that I wanted to share with you because it gives me joy to know that I am in a better place in my life and he is not.
The first e-mail reads like this: (Oh and yes – I have blocked out his name because knowing him, he will stumble upon this one day and try and sue me)
---------- message ----------
On Fri, Feb 25, 2011 at 12:01 AM, CXXXX LXXXXX
Subject: just wanted to say
Hi Net,
Hope all is well with you and the family. I know this is out of the blue but i just wanted to let you know you really were a good woman to me. The things I have done to you I look back now and say to myself what the hell was i thinking....
This is not a plot for sympathy. I just wanted to get that off my chest as i had said I am at peace now and paid my prices ten fold.
As i said this may seem strange and out of the blue for you to get an email like this from me but for me i have my reasons and in no way again do i have anything up my sleeve.
Thanks and God BLESS
Cxxxxxx
_______________________________________________
Now it did strike me a bit odd to get this out of nowhere and for some reason I thought perhaps he was making amends before he killed himself or something. No idea why I thought that but I did spend some time contemplating if I got that call if it was even worth my trouble to attend his funeral. I know, I know….. it sounds horrible to think that way but when I told my mother she immediately said, “It sounds like some sort of suicide note.”
Perhaps a bit of wishful thinking on both our parts because the very next day I got another e-mail. I told my mother what he had written and her immediate reaction was, “Oh darn, I guess he is still alive and that wasn’t a suicide note afterall.”
The second message reads as follows:
---------- message ----------
On Sat, Feb 26, 2011 at 7:53 PM, CXXXX LXXXXX
Subject: Divorce Final
Hi Net,
Just wanted to let you know i got the judge papers in the mail signed as of Jan 31st 2010..... sooo i guess its final.....
Thanks for constantly following up on your end, I know your lawyer took her time lol.... Also--- take good care of yourself and the family..I wish you all the best, luck, and happiness in all your future endeavors..... I know I wasnt the best husband in the world but seeing how I was it was for the best....
If anything for what it was worth you were really good to me and I thank you for all you did.....looking back at everything ai WISH I HAD A Time machine so i cud go back and make everything right and do things honest and better but we all know that cant happen....
Thanks for being a great wife. With the short term relationship I just got out of due to the bullshit and drama and her golddigging ways, i realize no one will live up to you..... I really tried hard and was very honest and a good person to her and her kids but all i was was a convienence and a meal ticket.... but we learn from experience...... Through the whole six months i been with this bitch, she was never you, she didnt appreciate me thought she would change and wouldnt change.... Cant change someome who doesnt want it....sounds familiar huh....too bad it took a seperation and divorce to be the person i am now.... it made me stronger, so thank you.
Take care god bless and you will always have a place in my heart
________________________________________________________
First off, when they say love is blind- they are not kidding. Aside from marrying an a- hole the first time out, you can also see from his eloquent writing style that he was far from educated. Secondly, I hate that he got his paperwork before I got mine, but so be it. I originally thought he was making stuff up as I just found out it was official on Valentine’s Day and he makes reference to the end of January. Obviously he made reference to the wrong year, but when I got my paperwork, there was a stamp at the top from the judge dated for January 31, 2011 which I guess is what he is referring. It must take some time to get from the judge to the clerk and then be entered into the system since the official date on record is February 14, 2011.
On another note- I have to say that it brings me nothing but happiness to hear that the loser got a taste of his own medicine. The entire time people kept telling me that I should do this or that to him. As much as I hated the bastard for ruining my life I was more concerned with my own well being, getting my head on straight and moving on. I am a firm believer in karma and what goes around comes around and I just knew deep down inside that one day he would get his and it wouldn’t even be my doing. Well it looks like a bit of that karma is coming around his way. I felt like writing back to say “it sucks when the shoe is on the other foot”, or “glad she used you for a meal ticket much like you used me” or “glad she took your money because you had no problem taking mine”. And of course I really wanted to say “sorry your life did not work out and your relationship ended but my life has significantly improved since I left you. I have moved on, am in a happier place and as a matter of fact I found someone wonderful and will be getting married at some point”…..but I did not. It had been pointed out to me that he was looking for a response and should I reply- I will be giving him what he wants. So I just hit delete. I know in time he will catch wind of how I have gone on to a much better place and there is no doubt in my mind he will be living a life of misery.
Oh and while I told you I am an honest person, I may have misled you in some respects. I did say that all the bad energy, misery and misfortune he passed along to others would come back his way and I would have no part in it…….well maybe I changed my mind. I have been stockpiling a bunch of letters for the IRS, the NY State Attorney General and the Department of Unemployment that are after him. I did in all fairness forward the letters to him for several months, but he repeatedly felt the need to ignore them, tell me he had dealt with them or continue to give out my address even after he had moved to another state. It must be official business since so many letters kept coming week after week so I felt the need to send them all back with forwarding addresses. Actually my fiancé took great pride in writing the forwarding addresses on a few of them. I mailed them this morning and time permitting; I will dig up the other stack this evening. I mean after all….I am really not doing anything more than informing these governmental agencies of his new whereabouts. Is that so wrong?
Until I write again….
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