People are coming around

August 28, 2010

I have a few minutes and although it has only been a few days since my last entry, a lot has happened.

I started my new job on Wednesday. I think I am being underpaid for the work I will be doing in comparison to what is fair market value for this position, but I am so happy to be working and in a setting that I have been trying to break into for over a year, that I am not complaining. Already I can tell the place is a bit unorganized. They hired a new director in my division back in April and he has been working to improve things but I think he too knows how messed up it is. I figure I will get my feet wet and then recommend changes that make sense to improve things and make them a bit more efficient, at least from the standpoint of doing my job. With respect to some things, they are a bit stone age. All in all though, I am glad to have a job close to home and I already know I am working with a good group of people and will be learning so much. I think the current girl who is doing the recruiting doesn’t really have enough experience under her belt and as a result is constantly trying to fit a square peg into a round hole from time to time to get things off her plate. If I can better qualify the people, hopefully the revolving door of employees will slow down some and they will give me other projects to work on on the side. For right now, it is a job and like everything else, I plan to make the most of it. Once I get settled in some and know my job is secure, I will start making arrangements to take classes to get an industry certification that I think will benefit me in this job and in any others down the line.

Other than the new job which I am sure you will hear more about over the month, some recent developments have taken place with the family- my father’s side of the family that is. My cousin (or second cousin I guess) reached out to me on Facebook. To give you an understanding of whom I am taking about, let me give you a brief family history. My aunt, my father’s sister who may have been referred to as the Drama Queen, is the one who recently yelled at me for inviting her to the wedding brunch and told me that my mother was my cross to bear. Her daughter, my cousin; is the one that made it well known that she would not be going to the wedding and was not regretting it. She has two daughters who I suppose are my second cousins. They are whom I will now be referring.

Now that we have a brief family tree, I will continue on. My cousin reached out to me via Facebook to see how I was doing. I wrote a note back that just because her mother and grandmother would not be attending the wedding, did not mean they were not welcome to come if they changed their mind. I also let them know there was a brunch which they were invited to. Well through a chain of e-mails and then eventual phone calls, I came to learn that they were never told of the wedding, bridal shower or rehearsal. As it turns out their mother hid the invite, told them that none of them were invited, pretended she did not know when the wedding was or continuously made up reasons they could not go. I did not want to get into a tit for tat or your mother did this, your grandmother said that, but I did say that a lot has gone on and their mother responded very rudely to the invite. I told them that my brother was very hurt and embarrassed and hoped that someone from his father’s side of the family would be there. I explained that my brother had made arrangements to have them listed in the program, walk down the aisle and ordered flowers for them and now he had to redo everything.

Long story short, I think they were both appalled, embarrassed, upset and disgusted not only at what has gone on in the family but by how their mother had reacted. One of them even said to me that they normally do not like to take sides on stuff like this, but in this case, they kind of feel their mother and grandmother are a bit more in the wrong. They tried to explain to their mother and grandmother that the phone works both ways and little things should not be held as grudges and break the family apart but it apparently goes in one ear and out the other.

In conclusion as this may be my shortest blog entry yet, my cousins are now both attending the wedding. We are trying to get together in the next few weeks to catch up. My brother, mother and myself as well as my sister are all very happy that they will be joining us and have realized how ridiculous this is and that the family feud has gone on long enough.

Before I go, I will share with you the contents of the messages they sent to me blanking out their names of course.

Cousin A wrote:

Net,

Its really good to hear from you. No one told me any of this! I can't believe it. I thought everyone was going to the wedding. I never saw the RSVP information or anything regarding the shower either. Tell anthony and tara that lack of communication on my part was from really not knowing any of this information. I'm also upset that there is a lack of correspondance in our family and I agree with you completely that we should talk or get together more.


I'm going to ask (COUSIN B- her sister) if she would like to come to the wedding. I'm sure I wil be able to go and I'm sure she would love to as well. I will have someone take my sections or switch with me that day so I can attend. I really woudldnt want to miss it. Would I be allowed to bring a guest?
Mom has been giving me a hard time lately. I have been thinking about not speaking with her for a long period of time and I have decided to never live there again when I come back from school. This incident makes me more sure of my decision.


I hope to hear from you soon. Its better to have these types of conversations in email. Ill call you in a few days too once everything is settled upstate and I finish unpacking. I'm leaving to go up there shortly.

-cousin A

In another message, her younger sister wrote me the following message:

Hi Net,

I know it's been a while since me or anyone in my family has tried to contact you, and for that I apologize. I really do miss all of you guys :[


I asked my mom about Tara and Anthony's wedding a few times, especially over the last few weeks. Each time she would say "we're not going" or "I forgot when it is" or make up some excuse as to why none of us could go. However, I never lost interest in going. It really would mean the world to both me and Cousin A(her sister) to see our cousin get married, so if it's not too late to RSVP then I would like to do so. I would've done it sooner, but I had no idea when the wedding was or that anyone would want to go with me.


Cousin A mentioned it to me this morning at breakfast and I got so excited! Even if it turns out that she can't make it for some reason, I will definitely be there regardless of the date or time. If it's too late to RSVP then I understand. Either way, I can speak for both my sister and myself when I say that it would be nice to see all of you again, maybe for lunch or something one day soon.


Send my love to the rest of the family,


Cousin B

And with that- it looks like some members of the family have come around. As this is my first day to relax after a chaotic week, I am going to try and sit by the pool for a bit. This concludes my update for today.

Until I write again…..