Wedding Take Two

I write this blog entry to inform others of the process should they fall into the same category, but also to tell the story of my wedding(s).

My husband and I had both been married in the past. We each had the big weddings, spent months planning, stressing, paying for things and shelling out thousands on guests, food, invitations and entertainment. The second time around we wanted it to be different. We wanted something memorable and unique and we also wanted it to be about us and not about everyone else. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family, but not enough to shell out thousands and thousands of dollars and stress over giving them a memorable experience when we were the ones that really mattered in the end.

While there was some stress involved- mostly who was going, not going and when they were flying down, we decided to get married in a private beach ceremony in St. Lucia. We had a wedding coordinator down there that took care of all the grunt work, she told us where to be and when and I must say she did an amazing job. We had to go through all the same paperwork and legal issues that we would had we gotten married in the United States. We even had to meet with an attorney to make sure our documents where in order and the marriage would be legal. Prior to returning home from St. Lucia, we were given our marriage certificate which we were told was legally binding and should be accepted anywhere that required it. All we had to do was turn it in where documents are recorded and it should become official in our country.

Prior to leaving for St. Lucia, I did some research and much to my surprise; I discovered that there was no where I could find to turn that out of country document in. I tried the courts and then called town hall. Basically, I was told that in order to record the marriage in this country and to obtain a US marriage certificate, we would need to get married again. Of course this news was disappointing and it defeated the purpose of getting married elsewhere. Had I known this prior to a week before the actual wedding, I would have planned differently. I would have had a small ceremony locally for family to attend, followed by a small reception dinner and then we would have gone off to enjoy our honeymoon- ALONE. Instead we got a familymoon and barely 5 minutes to ourselves the entire stay but that is another topic.

Now to inform those considering out of country marriages, most places will accept on out of country marriage certificate. As long as you follow all the guidelines of the place you are to be wed and comply with all their rules and regulations, your marriage is considered legal anywhere. Well anywhere except the Department of Motor Vehicles that is. I came home with my out of country marriage certificate and went to the Social Security office to have my name changed and it was done in 5 minutes, no questions asked. DMV on the other hand refuses to change anything unless it is a US document and without that, you basically can’t change any of your identification.
So anticipating this in advance, I called the local town hall prior to going down to St. Lucia to inquire on the process. They informed me that that this would be considered a second ceremony as long as I had the document proving we were already married elsewhere. As such, we needed to pay $40 for a marriage or second ceremony license and then we had I think 60 days to use it. Upon having someone officiate the ceremony, we would turn it in and get our US document. Now normally there is a 48 hour wait between when a marriage license is issued and when the actual wedding can take place, but as this was considered a second ceremony, we were able to use that right away. Not knowing who would and would not take our out of country marriage certificate, we lined up all our ducks prior to our trip to St. Lucia just in case we needed them upon our return.

We flew home on a Sunday night and started researching were to turn out document in. We didn’t come up with anything quickly and easily and while I’m sure there was a way around this, without having to get a lawyer involved, it was just easier to get the second ceremony done and move on. First thing Monday morning we went to town hall to get our marriage license. We got a list of officiates prior to going to St. Lucia and called around to “reserve” (or make an appointment) for one on that Monday in case it became necessary. Once we confirmed with town hall that we were able to use our marriage license right away as it was considered a second marriage of the same two people, we called up the Mayor who had agreed to marry us and arranged for him to meet us down by the water and make us legal in this country. It was a bit chillier than it had been in St. Lucia, but it was still a nice day and I had my brother and sister in law join us with the baby as our witnesses since they were not able to make it to the real wedding ceremony. Afterwards we took tons of photos, went out for a nice dinner and became “legal” in the US.

I have to say, as the Mayor was a town official and was therefore not allowed to take money from us and for the low cost of a $40 marriage license, it was definitely kind of nice. Perhaps being near the water instead of a courthouse had something to do with it, but all in all, we had two memorable weddings. We now joke around that we are stuck with each other FOREVER as we had to get married twice. Ironically we both think of the legal and paperwork nightmares should we ever get divorced but I think that is just from having gone through that experience in the past. Neither one of us have intentions of that being the case. Hopefully we live very happy lives together, have tons of fond memories, travel the worlds and who knows, maybe start a family one day, but that is not really in our control so God willing, we look forward to where life takes us.

Until I write again…….